When God Says No

AS I sat to write this meditation over the weekend, my wife was in the other room with terrible cramps. An hour later, she miscarried our tenth baby at the twelfth week of her pregnancy. Even though I had been praying from day one for the baby’s health and a safe delivery… God said no.

When we went to the hospital the next day, our nurse, who is the daughter of a dear friend, had also miscarried last year—two days before her baby was due to be born. We pondered why… why God said no.

My life has been full of these mysteries—the death of my sister when I was 19; the early death of my mother from cancer; the many seeming failures and closed doors in my ministry… so many times that God said no to my hopes and prayers.

In today’s Gospel, the people asked Jesus for a sign. But He replied, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation.”

Then he left them, got into the boat again, and went off to the other shore.

God said no. Why?

First of all, Jesus had been working signs left and right for them. But they wanted Him to act like a cosmic vending machine, working miracles at their whim, how they wanted, when they wanted. They failed to see that everything God does has a purpose. Everything Jesus did was the Father’s will, part of a Master Plan to restore creation to Himself. In fact, the Father even said no to Jesus. Remember?

Abba, Father, all things are possible to you. Take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what you will. (Mark 14:36)

God said no. So Jesus said “yes.” And because Jesus said yes, the entire world has been reconciled through Him, and the gates of Heaven flung wide open. How powerful a “yes” is to God’s no!

Our Lady had plans for the future with Joseph… but God said no. So Mary said “yes.” That yes is what gave us the Savior.

I don’t have all the answers to suffering. No one does. And some suffering is very, very difficult. So what am I to do when my senses are nailed to the cross, when my tongue cleaves to my mouth unable to form prayers, when feelings are pierced through with thorns? Then, at these times, I need only imitate the crucified Jesus and simply say, Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit. This simple prayer is a “yes” to God. It is saying, “Jesus, even though it seems you have gone to the other shore, I am going to follow You still. And even though You have permitted these difficulties in my life, I know that Your way is always better than mine; that this present trial, this mysterious “no” of the heavenly Father is not the last word. Your Resurrection is the last word. And every single suffering you permit in my life, every single “no”, is at once a “yes” to something better. I may not understand your Master Plan until eternity, but I will trust You. I will walk in this night of faith, because You are faithful and You will never do anything to harm me. I have seen You work signs left and right in my life, and so I am not going to doubt You now….”

You see, such a prayer, such a “yes” to God is why St. James says we must consider it all joy when we experience various trials. Because there is something else God is doing on a deeper level, a purification of the soul, an expanding of the heart to make more room for Him—and make all things work to the good for the salvation of the world.

Jesus once said to St. Faustina,

Entrust yourself completely to My will saying, “Not as I want, but according to Your will, O God, let it be done unto me.” These words, spoken from the depths of one’s heart, can raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven with the fragrance of her virtue. —Divine Mercy in My Soul, Diary, n. 1487

There is no other path than the way of the Cross—faith. When God says no, then, “fold the wings of your intellect” as Catherine Doherty used to say, and enter into the simple prayer of faith: “yes.”

Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I hold to your promise. You are good and bountiful… It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes… in your faithfulness you have afflicted me. Let your kindness comfort me according to your promise to your servants. (Today’s Psalm)