RATHER than euthanize his wife, he did this…
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Kirsten’s Full Letter…
Hi Friends,
I’m still here.
I feel like I’m coasting along. There’s been minute changes in my condition over many months, and more tiredness. There’s also been an unexpected decrease of secretions in my lungs, which had reduced the dreaded cough assist machine to only bi-weekly, rather than 1-2 hrs daily. Recently however, during the process, I’ve been chewing the insides of my cheek due to muscle loss around the mouth, so we are now at a forced end of the cough assist. My lungs are in Jesus’ hands. So I’m at peace.
Some have asked if I receive visions or prophetic insight during my illness. Not at all, actually. I’m not able to enter into contemplation. It’s been a spiritually dry year.
Rosie is now working for the PSW agency, but working exclusively with our family in the same capacity as when we hired her for the last 2 and 1/2 years. It’s a win – win. She gets a well-deserved raise and we no longer have the overhead. God is so good. He has given me the best PSW’s in the region. They are a large part of the reason I’m doing so well.
However…. I’m tired. And weary. And many days I feel at the end of my rope.
David’s tired and weary. At the end of his rope.
Our PSW’s are tired. And weary.
The PSW agency has never had this many hours dedicated to one person before, 56 hours per week.
I had a dark day, Saturday, a couple of weeks ago. I couldn’t take anymore, was done with my situation, and its all-encompassing ramifications, a crying mess. I just wanted to die, end it all. The last time that happened was about 10 months ago.
David read to me from the work of Prof. Germain Grisez, a moral theologian, on is it wrong to wish for death? It helped me immensely, giving a fresh perspective, and another reminder that I have more work to do here on earth. Yes, it is wrong to wish for death, but we can long for heaven. So I continue to trust Him, and try to buckle down for the long haul, offering up my sufferings for priests and humanity. As a Christian I know intuitively that life is important, that it is a sacred gift to be treasured, by virtue of being created in the image of a loving God who laid down His life for me. He will determine how and when I go, not me. I pray Jesus will sustain all of us through this suffering.
I am in a unique situation, blessed with in-home care provided by the provincial government. Many jurisdictions just don’t have the resources to offer this type of care, so those requiring it are forced to make difficult decisions: long-term care, which, essentially, will just hasten one’s death through food/water deprivation (personal experience with each of our parents), or hire private care if they have the means … or many resort to MAiD (medical assistance in dying/euthanasia).
Euthanasia in Canada
Currently, under Canadian law, those who are at least 18 years old and “suffering intolerably” with a medical condition are eligible for MAiD. Our government keeps expanding eligibility, so MAiD has become a slippery slope of horrific outcomes. In eight short years our Supreme Court/legislators have made Canada the killing fields of the world, second only to the Netherlands.
Once those doors to death are opened over a nation, there’s a peculiar shift that occurs in the hearts of its people. Cardinal Thomas Collins of Toronto explains, “Just as sometimes calluses grow on the physical body, they can form on the human conscience. And what people were once rightly sensitive to being as wrong, they’ve come to accept. Familiarity breeds contempt. And familiarity also allows people to accept what was unacceptable.”
According to Dr. Ellen Wiebe, who has killed over 400 of her patients in Vancouver, the reason people choose to end their lives with MAiD is to have a sense of control. If she were to dig a bit deeper, I’m sure she’d find that most of her patients just feel they have no other choice, faced with a failing social and medical care system, or burdened financially. These days palliative care is so advanced that most pain can be alleviated.
I really detest hearing phrases about MAiD like, “It’s beautiful” and “It’s humane and compassionate”, especially coming from a doctor who does the dirty deed. Their profession takes the Hippocratic oath as its creed. They promised to help their patients. Not kill them.
Their declaration that it is humane and compassionate is false. The doctor doesn’t know what occurs in the body into which they have injected numerous syringes until they feel no pulse. Pharmaceutical companies don’t make dosages designed for death. High dosages are used in MAiD. There are no studies on how these drugs act at high dosages.
Rocuronium is used to paralyze muscles, thereby masking any movements or convulsions. If MAiD is “beautiful, humane and compassionate”, why the need to paralyze the patient?
Pray for doctors and assisting nurses who perform MAiD. A loving God, but also a God of justice, laid out the blueprint for moral conduct. “Thou shalt not kill” is pretty clear. May God have mercy.
According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “Whatever its motives and means, direct euthanasia consists in putting an end to the lives of handicapped, sick or dying persons. It is morally unacceptable.
“Thus an act or omission which, of itself or by intention, causes death in order to eliminate suffering constitutes a murder gravely contrary to the dignity of the human person and to the respect due to the living God, his Creator. The error of judgment into which one can fall in good faith does not change the nature of this murderous act, which must always be forbidden and excluded” (2277).
Praise God for the guidance and direction He gives through His Church!
The Blessings
Its taken many hours across numerous weeks to type this newsletter. God willing, there’ll be another one if my eyes hold out!
On good days and bad days, I’m grateful to be able to hear Adessa’s laugh as she jumps on the trampoline with her dad, or as she tap dances around the house in her stocking feet, to hear my husband’s “I love you’s”, to experience the kindness of a friend taking a photo for me of the trees in their golden glory, for my hardworking eyes on which so much in my world hinges, for my mom and sisters’ love in flying in from Alberta to visit… there’s so much more… God’s gifts that show He’s so close…. Thank you Jesus…
Much love,
Kirsten
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